 |
|
|
Category: Guests
|
| Subjects: |
| 1. To elope or not to elope? |
| 2. Black & White Formal - Can we ask? |
| 3. Invited without a guest. |
Letters: |
February 29, 2004
Dear Mimi, |
| I am not sure what to do. When I first got engaged, my fiancé loved the idea of a small wedding. Just us and a few friends. But his family was not willing to let that happen. They need everyone and their dog to be at the ceremony and reception. Now my family is reacting in exactly the same way. I just wanted peace and romance and now we have the entire east coast coming to our wedding. People are being invited that I do not even know. HELP!!! Should we bring the whole thing to a screeching halt and elope? Should we just sufferer through it all? Any help would be most appreciated!!!!
Thanks, Margaret Anne |
| Dear Margaret Anne, |
| Honey, I feel for you…I really do. You have reached the wedding quandary that comes to so many brides and grooms. The problem, in a nutshell, is that the wedding is for you and your significant other, but almost as importantly it is for everyone else in your life. If you have your cozy nuptials, you’ll probably have a blast…until you get back to your life and find a bunch of hurt relations. If you have the full blown shindig that your parents are looking for, you might end up with cold chicken and bad music…but you’ll still be in with Aunt Doris and the rest of the family. My suggestion is this: go for the cold chicken and Wild Cherry, Aunt Doris will be thrilled. But either before or after take the time to do something really special (and separate) with your guy. Read the poems you would only read to one another, kiss him in a way that would shock Aunt Doris, and make sure he knows that your relationship is about the marriage and not just the wedding.
Best of luck! |
 |
|
April 06, 2004
Dear Mimi, |
| We are having a formal and elegant wedding and want to ask our guests to wear only black or white. Is this rude? How do we best state this request in the invite so people understand? Will everyone wear black and will it look like a funeral? Is this an unreasonable request?
Thanks, Michele |
| Dear Michele, |
| Sounds very dramatic…and I love drama! Seriously though, although this is a completely acceptable request, you do run the risk of having everyone show up in black. Lets face it, how many men have anything but a white shirt in their closet, much less white formal wear! If an entourage all in black doesn’t scare you, then go for it. Play it up on the invite - maybe black and white invites? Let everyone know that this is themed wedding and that the theme is black and white and guests should dress accordingly. Be warned through, some batty old aunt is bound to come in a floral dress with a big hat and a younger cousin is still probably going to end up coming in a light blue tux with a ruffle. Just try to seat those folks together (preferably in a remote corner).
Best of Luck, |
|
|
March 18, 2005
Dear Mimi, |
| I am a 54-year-old divorced woman who was invited to a wedding out of town without a date. The wedding will be very lavish and cost is not a problem. I find it extremely rude to be invited without a guest and therefore am declining the invitation. It is a 2-hour ride and I was looking forward to attending. Now I am not going, do you blame me?
Thanks, Rose |
| Dear Rose, |
| Darling, I don’t blame you a bit! I get a lot of these questions from couples and from potential single guests. My response is always the same. If you are on a tight budget then asking folks to come on their own is just fine, as long as you use a tactful, evenhanded approach. BUT, if the couple has money falling out of their pockets, then they have no excuse for asking anyone to come on their own. Attending a ceremony and reception can often be an emotional experience and most guests enjoy the event much more with a friend or companion. Now that I have said my peace, I’ll add one more pearl of wisdom. Don’t be dramatic in turning the invite down. A friendly excuse to get you off the hook will allow you to get past the wedding day without burning any bridges.
Best of Luck, |
|
|
Back to Top
|
|
|
